As for me, I cant even afford honey! Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. 2. However, the time it takes for a puppy to grow up is a lot longer than it should take for someone to reply to your message. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. How To Answer "Why Are You Single?": 33 Ideas - Elite Daily I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). But, you should know that, I don't like you, already. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. 16. You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. The Nine Canonical Responses to 'U Mad,' the - Intelligencer 19. Because your ass is out of this world! After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". This one is bound to get a laugh. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? Did someone leave your cage open? 17. How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. 2. Brilliant! 2. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal Reply. I was actually talking to my friend". Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Im sorry. 34 Best Responses To Late Replies (While Texting) I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. Yup, I dont share it. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. (This is an awesome response if you want to fluster them and catch them off-guard) So much better now that you are with me. 90 Sarcastic Quotes for Witty Comebacks Full of Sarcasm - Quote Ambition What should I doI like you too much. I hope you are at your best too. "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. 9. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. 85. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. 10 Perfect, Sarcastic Responses To Annoying Humblebrags Who knows, they might just do it. 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), 31+ Good Comebacks to Use in an Argument With a Girl, Roommate Is Always in Living Room (How To Resolve This), Roommate Brings Unwanted Guests Home! #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! Is your family tree a cactus? They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. You look tired. TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? 22. Hey, whered you get that nose? No, I'm Finnish. Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey. Thank you Fred. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Im too expensive. No, not really. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. That's boyfriend material. 97. I died last week, since then. Not bad. I repeat I am plural! Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. Your hair looks great! It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. and our When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. I'm used to it, anyway. 45 Funny Memes About Life in 2023 - Happier Human And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. You speak as if youre not single yourself! I think I am doing alright. Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face? Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. 78. 15. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. I am feeling so good that I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. I dont feel that great, but look! Me being single is just a conspiracy! June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . 3. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. 100 Good Comebacks Best Funny, Witty Comebacks Ever - Parade Holy s**t, you can see me?! I never even listen when you tell me them. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? Funny Responses to "How Are You?" (& Other Questions!) - Science of People People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" 4. Learn more about us here. For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? 7. Funny as phuck. 1. If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. 3. This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. 3. I just adore my own company. 37. Best Answers to the "What You Do For a Living?" Question Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! Congratulations, sir. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. but it's just so blunt and funny. Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. . You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. 75. Are you Jamaican? More like give me a sign that you're still alive. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. 54. Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." Stop asking me why Im single! Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. I'm glad to know that you're alive.". Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. Liked what you just read? Because if you are, youre doing it right. So the next time someone asks you why you're still. If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. What's your sign? Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. (This line came from the cartoon show. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Search, discover and share your favorite Still Alive GIFs. . Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. 77. 42. 88. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. What is the most creative reply to, are you still alive? If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. Tip #3 - Confidence is Key. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? Why would he text me "Are you still alive?"? - GirlsAskGuys 2. Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. You should really come with a warning label. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! Hmmph. Im in a relationship with myself. 96. Siri, why am I still single? 98. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! It's impossible for things to be perfect. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. Because you havent put a ring on it yet. More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. . It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. Living the dream! Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. Could Be Payday. Maybe their roommate was sick. Mentally? Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. 3. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman.